party in the C-R-V

Yesterday I shamelessly listened to 94.5 on the way to school. That catchy Miley Cyrus song was on... somethin somethin... "they're playin my song, and the butterflies fly away... party in the U-S-A!" Naturally, I had it cranked up. And naturally, the principal witnessed the entire thing.

the big 2-3

Tomorrow I am twenty-three years old. My twenty second year was a time of huge growth and change. I lived in 5 different residences within one year, for example - State Street, North Myrtle, my parents' house, 3rd avenue, and now St. Paul. I worked in a video store, at a McDonald's in the deep South, directed a play, and student taught. I went on an adventure to North Myrtle Beach and I'll never forget a day of that summer. I began teaching at Lakeville one week after student teaching ended - whew! God knew I would deal with the adjustment of the real world much better with less time on my hands to think. That's how he operates with me, it seems. He throws me right in - and shows me how to trust him. Trial by fire.

My twenty second year brought change, challenges, seasons of being pushed and stretched. If I could sum it up thematically, it would be, "God throws Jill into a million different situations and shows her the only stable thing in this world is the Lord." My twenty third year brings me the chance to take root. I've got a job and an apartment (and a wonderful roommate, I might add). The trick now will be to take the initiative to keep growing and learning.

I'll never forget a Christmas card from my Grandma Morreim a couple of years ago. She wrote, "Just think, this year brings a whole new world of possibilities to my youngest granddaughter!"

It's just as true today as it was then.

Bring it on, 23. Let's see what you've got.

to be fully yourself

My favorite moments of the day are when my kids let go of the feeling that they are being watched and scrutinized and for a brief period of time, carry a "screw it, I don't care WHAT anyone thinks!" persona about them. This does not happen intentionally for my kids, or very often. It sneaks up on them and ever so gently lifts off the burden of the world that hangs on their shoulders, carries the weight for a bit, lets them breathe. But when it does, I look at them and think: there you are.

What makes you let go? What allows you to live out your design? I find it in a few places. Teaching, for one. I find my rhythm and get on a roll and on the spot think of ways to teach something - I love it when that happens. I love to watch my kids learn something, watch them turn in their rough draft of their research papers so proud that they made it 8 pages - something about that brings me alive. Hearing one of my Goals kids say that hadn't read a book since 5th grade until they were in my class, and they actually liked reading it - I lived on that encouragement for days. Talking with people, meeting new people, hearing about their wounds, scars, successes, hopes - that energizes me. Bike rides, taking pictures, listening to Talking Heads, finding a shirt for $3, writing, being outside, going for drives in my car spontaneously. Decorating. Making my first pot roast. Giggling with my 8th grade girls about someone farting during church. Having a glass of wine.

It seems fitting to put that list to the tune of "These are a few of my favorite things," but I hate The Sound of Music, and I don't think Julie Andrews would sing about farting.

ka-put

I have kicked all of my ambition out the door. We got in a fight. Ambition was saying I should grade those papers that have taken up residence on my desk for two weeks and search a little harder for those vocab quizzes that I suddenly cannot find. In return, I told ambition that I've had enough of being a productive and valued citizen, thank you very much, and I would rather relinquish all my brainpower to getting a suntan instead. All the while my comments to my students have grown sassier, "I'm sorry for the emotional trauma that is being caused by my giving you a ten-minute homework assignment, but send me the therapist's bill. It's a risk I'll take."

Honestly, where did those quizzes go? They just took them on Monday. This is terrible.

I figured something out. When my college professors told me to always give my students a "why," I was living in the land of idealism. Yes, I thought, I will always explain to my students succinctly and beautifully why they are learning how to properly use a semicolon and how it will enhance their lives. Then, at the end of each week, we will hold hands and join together in a song about the greatness that is Academic Writing. Now I have seen the light: When I tell them why, it gives them reason to question everything I do.

Let me illustrate:
Students: "Miss Morreim, we haaate reading day, why do we have to read? This is soooo lame. Mr. Hanson's class gets to go outside. Why can't weeee go outside?"
Me: "Reading improves your vocabulary and research shows that it improves your writing skills more than any other activity."
Students: "whinewhinewhine"

A better response:
Students: "Miss Morreim, whine whine whine whine whine?"
Me: "Because I said so. Deal with it."
Students: (in desks, reading quietly).

How did those quizzes disappear? I'm losing it...