This is me right now: leggings tucked into my socks, unwashed hair, wearing a brand-new Gap sweater found at Savers this morning ($4, thank you, tags were still on it), Harley sleeping on my lap, glass of wine in hand, lesson plans on the table, John Mayer playing, cooking steak & brussel sprouts.
Bliss...
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
grace like an ocean
When my heart breaks for my kids, when I'm up to my eyeballs in planning, when I am unsure about my future, when I miss my friends, when life isn't exactly "just so" - I realize life will never be orderly, that I am blessed to have friends to miss, that the world is at my feet and my future is in His hands, that I have an amazing opportunity to learn more about planning and teaching, and that I although I can't fix my kids' problems, I can give them a safe haven, I can give them prayers, and I can give them love. I can even use commas in excess if I want to even though I'm an English teacher.
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
-David Crowder Band, "How He Loves Us"
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
-David Crowder Band, "How He Loves Us"
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Essential Question: Who are my students?
While in my teaching prep courses at UWEC, our learning goals were framed in "essential questions." Our content was driven by these EQ's. One of these EQ's hit me in a new way today: Who are my students?
It's one thing to answer this question in theory, referring to textbooks and articles written by adolescent psychologists to present my well-written and articulated answer. Those answers and conversations had order, semblance, and systematic thinking behind it. But I deal with people - with students - and the first theory that I chucked out the window is that you can approach people based on generalizations.
Today I was shown who my students are.
My students struggle with deep-seated depression that they can't shake, bringing them near tears when I asked them, "how are you today?" I saw the feeling of defeat and hopelessness written all over their face, and saw in their eyes that they didn't know how they were going to make it through the next hour.
My students have been abused. Hit by the very people who should love them; discarded with the attitude that parenting them was a flippant, optional decision. They have steeled their approach in return, callousing their hearts, sharpening their offense and letting their guard down only when they've tested you long enough to know you are safe.
My students face severe anxiety, and are paralyzed from it. Who can focus on school when you feel like the walls are inching closer and closer in on you? Their feelings are out of control, jumping and maneuvering and colliding like hail reacting to the sidewalk. They would give anything for consistency, for routine.
My students need me to look beyond their missing assignments, poor attitude, and lack of effort in order to see and understand what's really going on: their messy and unpredictable life.
It's one thing to answer this question in theory, referring to textbooks and articles written by adolescent psychologists to present my well-written and articulated answer. Those answers and conversations had order, semblance, and systematic thinking behind it. But I deal with people - with students - and the first theory that I chucked out the window is that you can approach people based on generalizations.
Today I was shown who my students are.
My students struggle with deep-seated depression that they can't shake, bringing them near tears when I asked them, "how are you today?" I saw the feeling of defeat and hopelessness written all over their face, and saw in their eyes that they didn't know how they were going to make it through the next hour.
My students have been abused. Hit by the very people who should love them; discarded with the attitude that parenting them was a flippant, optional decision. They have steeled their approach in return, callousing their hearts, sharpening their offense and letting their guard down only when they've tested you long enough to know you are safe.
My students face severe anxiety, and are paralyzed from it. Who can focus on school when you feel like the walls are inching closer and closer in on you? Their feelings are out of control, jumping and maneuvering and colliding like hail reacting to the sidewalk. They would give anything for consistency, for routine.
My students need me to look beyond their missing assignments, poor attitude, and lack of effort in order to see and understand what's really going on: their messy and unpredictable life.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
the little engine that could (with a little help)
"Never let the sense of failure corrupt your new action." -Oswald Chambers
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
confession
I wanted to walk out of my classroom today and never return...just leave the kiddos there, go grab some coffee, and hurl the non-working laptop carts off into the commons area on my way out the door. Not to mention, assign a detention to every single kid who asked me if this was worth points, if they could do their math homework during class, or why couldn't he flirt with the girl next to him all hour and not write his rough draft?
It ticks me off that I need to assign a point value to every single thing, that I'm responsible for the kid who will potentially fail. If they aren't motivated, do I have to hold their hand? That annoys me to no end. Kids need to see the consequences of their choices. But when it's my butt on the line, what then?
It's time to get creative...
It ticks me off that I need to assign a point value to every single thing, that I'm responsible for the kid who will potentially fail. If they aren't motivated, do I have to hold their hand? That annoys me to no end. Kids need to see the consequences of their choices. But when it's my butt on the line, what then?
It's time to get creative...
hazelnut coffee & scrambled eggs
Mmmh. McDonald's has the BEST coffee. I'm sitting here enjoying a large cup of black coffee with hazelnut syrup and scrambled eggs with ketchup.
Week 3 already! Wow. In some ways that feels fast; in others, it feels like I've been here for months. I am settled into a routine but I don't think it will all feel real until that first paycheck comes! Next big thing on the list? Finding an apartment :) Christa and I will be looking in the Uptown/Chain of Lakes area and the St. Paul Grand Ave area. We think it might be a little ambitious to get a place by March 1, but, if the right place comes along - who knows! I'll miss sleeping with my dog every night, though. He's a mini heater.
As I am still working on my coffee, I am low on wit and insight at the moment. Check back with me later.
Week 3 already! Wow. In some ways that feels fast; in others, it feels like I've been here for months. I am settled into a routine but I don't think it will all feel real until that first paycheck comes! Next big thing on the list? Finding an apartment :) Christa and I will be looking in the Uptown/Chain of Lakes area and the St. Paul Grand Ave area. We think it might be a little ambitious to get a place by March 1, but, if the right place comes along - who knows! I'll miss sleeping with my dog every night, though. He's a mini heater.
As I am still working on my coffee, I am low on wit and insight at the moment. Check back with me later.
Monday, February 15, 2010
restored
Funny the things I turn to for satisfaction, when all the while, the Lord is near and is waiting. My actions are evidence of what I'm really trusting in. I'm trusting that this big old cup of Starbucks coffee will morph me into the most productive and creative teacher while I plan lessons today. I'm trusting that if I schedule out my entire day, if I write it all in ink into my planner, then it will happen. I wrote it in ink, didn't I? I'm trusting in the belief that other people's perceptions of me matter the most, and I can tell I'm doing so because my feelings are contingent on what I perceive they must be thinking of me. What do my students think? What do my colleagues think? I'm trusting in my own plans and in my own power. "No thanks, God, I've got this one. Really."
In other words: I know I'm not perfect, I see my shortcomings all too clearly, but instead of going to the Lord for forgiveness and fulfillment I am trying to fix it myself. I have this feeling that I don't quite measure up because I don't measure up. This is truth: we fall short of perfection. Well, now what? How do we react to this? I know what doesn't work: trying to live life on Starbucks coffee and a day planner.
I'm forgetting about a very important adverb.
In the book of Jeremiah, Israel messed up (how's that for a Biblical synopsis?). The prophet Jeremiah had the happy job of announcing the destruction of the kingdom of Judah, "This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says about the houses in this city and the royal places of Judah that have been torn down to be used against the siege ramps and the sword in the fight with the Babylonians: 'They will be filled with the dead bodies of the men I will slay in my anger and wrath. I will hide my face from this city because of all its wickedness.'" -Jeremiah 33:4-5. They sinned, and there was a very real consequence for that sin.
But what is the very next word? Nevertheless. It's an adverb. Adverbs modify and describe verbs; it changes their meaning entirely. Pay attention to them. The story does not end with God doling out an appropriate judgment to Israel; the action of his judgment and wrath is absolutely modified by the promise of restoration that follows. God then says, "Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before. I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me... there will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness." He brings abundant peace to our hearts, an overwhelming security. He fully knows and sees our sin - YET - He rebuilds, restores, cleanses, forgives, infuses joy and gladness into us once more. His love is nothing short of fierce, powerful, unwarranted, undeserved, incomparable. Pure.
Pay attention to adverbs. The truth is easily twisted. We are sinners, but do not forget about "nevertheless." Do not forget about the promise of restoration that God freely offers to us. Stop trying to hit the reset button all by yourself, because you can't. Believe you me, I've been trying. Go to him. Step into grace. "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." -Jeremiah 33:2.
In other words: I know I'm not perfect, I see my shortcomings all too clearly, but instead of going to the Lord for forgiveness and fulfillment I am trying to fix it myself. I have this feeling that I don't quite measure up because I don't measure up. This is truth: we fall short of perfection. Well, now what? How do we react to this? I know what doesn't work: trying to live life on Starbucks coffee and a day planner.
I'm forgetting about a very important adverb.
In the book of Jeremiah, Israel messed up (how's that for a Biblical synopsis?). The prophet Jeremiah had the happy job of announcing the destruction of the kingdom of Judah, "This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says about the houses in this city and the royal places of Judah that have been torn down to be used against the siege ramps and the sword in the fight with the Babylonians: 'They will be filled with the dead bodies of the men I will slay in my anger and wrath. I will hide my face from this city because of all its wickedness.'" -Jeremiah 33:4-5. They sinned, and there was a very real consequence for that sin.
But what is the very next word? Nevertheless. It's an adverb. Adverbs modify and describe verbs; it changes their meaning entirely. Pay attention to them. The story does not end with God doling out an appropriate judgment to Israel; the action of his judgment and wrath is absolutely modified by the promise of restoration that follows. God then says, "Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before. I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me... there will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness." He brings abundant peace to our hearts, an overwhelming security. He fully knows and sees our sin - YET - He rebuilds, restores, cleanses, forgives, infuses joy and gladness into us once more. His love is nothing short of fierce, powerful, unwarranted, undeserved, incomparable. Pure.
Pay attention to adverbs. The truth is easily twisted. We are sinners, but do not forget about "nevertheless." Do not forget about the promise of restoration that God freely offers to us. Stop trying to hit the reset button all by yourself, because you can't. Believe you me, I've been trying. Go to him. Step into grace. "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." -Jeremiah 33:2.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Must do: plan escape route
To protect the privacy of the parties involved, I will not give specifics. However, I will say this: at one of the schools I teach at, there is a bonafide creeper-teacher. I did not want to categorize creeper-teacher immediately, as that would be considered rash and not entirely very friendly; but due to today's events, he has left me no choice.
So I'm walking down the hallway, saying "hello" to teachers and casting dirty looks to participants of public "I'm going to inhale your toungue" sessions, when I see said teacher on the other side of the hallway.
Encounter One
Me: Good morning.
Creeper-Teacher: Hi.
Me: How are ya?
Creeper-Teacher: Excellent.
Encounters Two, Three, and Four
Me: Good morning.
Creeper-Teacher: Hi.
Me: How are ya?
Creeper-Teacher: Very excellent. [Channel your best Hannibal Lector voice while saying these lines in your head]
Today's Encounter:
Me: Hi there.
Creeper-Teacher: ... [insert brisk walk, knotted eyebrows, and a 10 second stare]
Tomorrow, I think I'll pick my nose when I see him. What's he gonna do with THAT?!
So I'm walking down the hallway, saying "hello" to teachers and casting dirty looks to participants of public "I'm going to inhale your toungue" sessions, when I see said teacher on the other side of the hallway.
Encounter One
Me: Good morning.
Creeper-Teacher: Hi.
Me: How are ya?
Creeper-Teacher: Excellent.
Encounters Two, Three, and Four
Me: Good morning.
Creeper-Teacher: Hi.
Me: How are ya?
Creeper-Teacher: Very excellent. [Channel your best Hannibal Lector voice while saying these lines in your head]
Today's Encounter:
Me: Hi there.
Creeper-Teacher: ... [insert brisk walk, knotted eyebrows, and a 10 second stare]
Tomorrow, I think I'll pick my nose when I see him. What's he gonna do with THAT?!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
cabin fever
I was reading essays last night, and numerous kids wrote about summertime, sunshine, cabins, and lakes. I don't think I've ever wanted spring to come as badly as I do this year!
I'm getting lonely out here without a lot of gal-pal interaction. The past couple of days, especially, I am definitely feeling the adjustment to a new life. As such, I am finding it very hard to focus on lesson planning/grading. My friends are scattered everywhere, and we are all going through the same process; the difference is, now we're not physically there to support each other. We've jumped into new lives but are still breaking the habits and routines of what we knew for years. I think I'm still figuring out the best ways to unstress and unwind after the bell rings and I've still got stuff to do. I'm living on a prayer, people.
I'm getting lonely out here without a lot of gal-pal interaction. The past couple of days, especially, I am definitely feeling the adjustment to a new life. As such, I am finding it very hard to focus on lesson planning/grading. My friends are scattered everywhere, and we are all going through the same process; the difference is, now we're not physically there to support each other. We've jumped into new lives but are still breaking the habits and routines of what we knew for years. I think I'm still figuring out the best ways to unstress and unwind after the bell rings and I've still got stuff to do. I'm living on a prayer, people.
Monday, February 8, 2010
rotten banana, please report to the front office...
Last Tuesday I had a bag with a banana and a nutri-grain bar in it. To my uttermost confusion, it "disappeared." After rummaging around for a solid 30 seconds, I raised my white flag of surrender and went on to more pressing matters; i.e., googling "how to be an english teacher." I just found it lurking in the bottom drawer of my file cabinet, which was apparently the most logical place to put it (she says with sarcasm). Banana's official time of death: 2:57pm, February 8th. Poor thing.
Today I parked in visitor's parking... and I took the elevator to 3rd floor. And I had a cup of Culligan water even though I'm not on the list. My collegiate behavior needs a tune-up.
I've decided to nix making goals. For example, I had a goal that this weekend I would plan out all of next week. I did not reach said goal. I did, however, come out of the weekend with a new pair of $8 shoes and some hockey skating practice. Thus, I am forgoing all goals, and forthwith will consider any measure of productivity a raging accomplishment.
Today I parked in visitor's parking... and I took the elevator to 3rd floor. And I had a cup of Culligan water even though I'm not on the list. My collegiate behavior needs a tune-up.
I've decided to nix making goals. For example, I had a goal that this weekend I would plan out all of next week. I did not reach said goal. I did, however, come out of the weekend with a new pair of $8 shoes and some hockey skating practice. Thus, I am forgoing all goals, and forthwith will consider any measure of productivity a raging accomplishment.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
consistency
Teaching shows you the nature of your heart. It's a barometer, really, that gives me an instant reading of the amount of patience and love in me at that moment. How I respond to the fifth student asking the same innocent question, for example, carries a lot of weight with those who are watching me. Am I consistent? Kind? Clear? Loving?
In the interest of finding the true meaning of a word, and in the mission of reflecting upon one of the most important character traits it takes to be a teacher, here's the definition of consistent:
adjective
1. agreeing or accordant; compatible; not self-contradictory: His views and actions are consistent.
2. constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.: a consistent opponent.
3. holding firmly together; cohering.
4. Archaic. fixed; firm.
Fixed, anchored, cohesive, harmonious, reliable, uniform. I don't know if you can try to be consistent, because it seems to require something beyond that - I think our actions and reactions bubble up from beliefs, convictions, values. Simply put, out of the overflow of our heart, we speak, act, damage, or repair. Where's my heart at? Knowing and dealing with that is much more effective than any classroom management technique or relationship approach, because it requires me to grapple with the source of my attitude.
Do I interact the same way with the clerk at Payless Shoes as I do with the principal of the school? With my 8th grade confirmation girls and my close girlfriends? Between my parents and my boyfriend?
Something to think about.
In the interest of finding the true meaning of a word, and in the mission of reflecting upon one of the most important character traits it takes to be a teacher, here's the definition of consistent:
adjective
1. agreeing or accordant; compatible; not self-contradictory: His views and actions are consistent.
2. constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.: a consistent opponent.
3. holding firmly together; cohering.
4. Archaic. fixed; firm.
Fixed, anchored, cohesive, harmonious, reliable, uniform. I don't know if you can try to be consistent, because it seems to require something beyond that - I think our actions and reactions bubble up from beliefs, convictions, values. Simply put, out of the overflow of our heart, we speak, act, damage, or repair. Where's my heart at? Knowing and dealing with that is much more effective than any classroom management technique or relationship approach, because it requires me to grapple with the source of my attitude.
Do I interact the same way with the clerk at Payless Shoes as I do with the principal of the school? With my 8th grade confirmation girls and my close girlfriends? Between my parents and my boyfriend?
Something to think about.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Bambi got murdered
We read aloud our personal essays today in Academic Writing. The highlight, by far, was one kid's essay titled: "The Day I Killed Bambi." He then went on to explain how he shot a deer in the legs, which didn't kill it. Trying to put Bambi out of her misery, he shot her in the head. When the deer STILL wasn't dead, he slit its throat. "Finally, 45 minutes later, the stupid thing finally died... I was just trying to put it out of its misery." I was laughing so hard I was crying. The way this kid told his story was just priceless. [Apologies to any animal lovers out there...] Between that and another kid declaring yesterday that islands didn't exist, since technically, we live on an island (also known as a continent...), it's been an entertaining couple of days.
On Thursday I woke up disoriented and thoroughly confused, thinking I was still student teaching...Why am I still student teaching? Shouldn't I have been done with that a couple weeks ago? Today I woke up giddy thinking about kicking back and drinking a glass of vino tonight.
I have a comrade across the hall! Katie and I are in the same boat - new teachers, living with our parents (ha!), and we haven't a clue what we're doing. Every day after school we ensue in our daily therapy session. It's cathartic. Our excuse for chit-chatting is that we're "collaborating"...he he. It's an understatement to say that she's kept me sane this week!
I refuse to look at schoolwork tonight. Tomorrow at 9am I'll check back into reality, but until then, I am going to blissfully ignore all lesson plans and curriculum maps and quizzes and poems and IEP's and e-mails and grammar books and...
On Thursday I woke up disoriented and thoroughly confused, thinking I was still student teaching...Why am I still student teaching? Shouldn't I have been done with that a couple weeks ago? Today I woke up giddy thinking about kicking back and drinking a glass of vino tonight.
I have a comrade across the hall! Katie and I are in the same boat - new teachers, living with our parents (ha!), and we haven't a clue what we're doing. Every day after school we ensue in our daily therapy session. It's cathartic. Our excuse for chit-chatting is that we're "collaborating"...he he. It's an understatement to say that she's kept me sane this week!
I refuse to look at schoolwork tonight. Tomorrow at 9am I'll check back into reality, but until then, I am going to blissfully ignore all lesson plans and curriculum maps and quizzes and poems and IEP's and e-mails and grammar books and...
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
It's only Wednesday?
I'm catching on: finally picked up my mail today. Well, I have a caveat at Lakeville South High School since I don't have a mailbox there yet (notice that I'm not rallying the troops for one, either... that would mean I would be responsible for even more papers to keep track of). The sweet secretary Jean over here at North High School kindly reminded me to pick up my mail. I wish I could say that it was on my radar, but honestly, the thought never occurred to me, "I have a mailbox. Pick up your mail." You think I'm crazy, but it's funny the things that have been topping my priority list these last three days.
To no surprise, my passenger side has morphed into my traveling teacher's trash receptacle. The current tally: 3 lunchable containers, 4 nutri-grain bar wrappers, 1 plastic bag, and 1 empty McDonald's 16oz coffee cup.
Here's my teaching schedule:
Periods 1 & 2: Goals at Lakeville South High School
3: Travel to North High School/lunch/prep time
4: Academic Writing
5: Goals
6: Creative Writing
Here's my teaching schedule, the unedited version:
1 & 2: "Listen kiddos, read a novel, because I don't have your stuff yet."
3: Jet to the bathroom, pack up my crap, speedwalk through the high school, jump into my car, unwrap lunchable, put car in gear, simultaneously drive, eat, and shout sassy comments to slow drivers ("Hey, drive faster lady, I'm trying to educate your children, here!"), enter Lakeville North, swing by the copy room for Kristi and Nancy to make all my copies that I need... uh... next hour, unlock room, plan, visit, visit, plan, stare at wall thinking of lesson plan ideas, wonder how I'm going to make it through the day.
4: This is the class period where I am seriously pretending like I know what I'm doing. This week, they're writing a personal essay. Next week? You think I know what I'm doing next week?
5: "If I see your cell phone one more time..."
6: Breath-of-fresh-air class. Fishbowl discussion today, kids got philosophical, wrote some cool poems in the style of Langston Hughes' "Theme for English B."
Tonight I start volunteering as a leader at my church. I'll be co-leading a group of 8th grade girls through confirmation. I decided that if I start right away with that commitment, it will just be a natural part of my schedule. I don't want to turn into a TOTAL hermit, yah know...
To no surprise, my passenger side has morphed into my traveling teacher's trash receptacle. The current tally: 3 lunchable containers, 4 nutri-grain bar wrappers, 1 plastic bag, and 1 empty McDonald's 16oz coffee cup.
Here's my teaching schedule:
Periods 1 & 2: Goals at Lakeville South High School
3: Travel to North High School/lunch/prep time
4: Academic Writing
5: Goals
6: Creative Writing
Here's my teaching schedule, the unedited version:
1 & 2: "Listen kiddos, read a novel, because I don't have your stuff yet."
3: Jet to the bathroom, pack up my crap, speedwalk through the high school, jump into my car, unwrap lunchable, put car in gear, simultaneously drive, eat, and shout sassy comments to slow drivers ("Hey, drive faster lady, I'm trying to educate your children, here!"), enter Lakeville North, swing by the copy room for Kristi and Nancy to make all my copies that I need... uh... next hour, unlock room, plan, visit, visit, plan, stare at wall thinking of lesson plan ideas, wonder how I'm going to make it through the day.
4: This is the class period where I am seriously pretending like I know what I'm doing. This week, they're writing a personal essay. Next week? You think I know what I'm doing next week?
5: "If I see your cell phone one more time..."
6: Breath-of-fresh-air class. Fishbowl discussion today, kids got philosophical, wrote some cool poems in the style of Langston Hughes' "Theme for English B."
Tonight I start volunteering as a leader at my church. I'll be co-leading a group of 8th grade girls through confirmation. I decided that if I start right away with that commitment, it will just be a natural part of my schedule. I don't want to turn into a TOTAL hermit, yah know...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My mind is fuzzzy
Ok, it's been my mission today to ask as many teachers as I could if it's normal to be planning the next day's lesson the night before. I am glad to report my findings: all 5 of the teachers I asked gave me a resounding "YES, that is normal, you are not crazy, and this is my (15th, 8th, 22nd) year of teaching and I still do that."
Phew. One less thing to carry around: the guilt of not having my entire week planned out.
My mentor Lora stopped by after school today and it was a breath of fresh air to talk with her. She encouraged me to ask teachers as much as I can what they are doing in Academic or Creative Writing - and to just downright steal their lessons. I voiced my concern of "would teachers be put off by my taking their lessons?" and her response was absolutely not. Teachers do it all the time, she said, and it's all a part of collaboration and teaching. Don't reinvent the wheel - talk to someone and get materials to work with. Why kill myself? I've got enough on my hands with classroom management, grading, running like a maniac between schools, etc, etc. Lora also told me the story of a long-term sub last year that had a nervous breakdown... the brave who have fallen before me....
Lesson of day 2: Par down my expectations of myself (I will not have the entire semester planned out by Saturday, I will not have the entire semester planned out by Saturday...). Ask for help. Get ideas from teachers. Let go of the fear of being annoying. Eat a banana after 5th hour for energy. Keep stash of chocolate in drawer for emergencies. Remember to pee before 4th hour.
Phew. One less thing to carry around: the guilt of not having my entire week planned out.
My mentor Lora stopped by after school today and it was a breath of fresh air to talk with her. She encouraged me to ask teachers as much as I can what they are doing in Academic or Creative Writing - and to just downright steal their lessons. I voiced my concern of "would teachers be put off by my taking their lessons?" and her response was absolutely not. Teachers do it all the time, she said, and it's all a part of collaboration and teaching. Don't reinvent the wheel - talk to someone and get materials to work with. Why kill myself? I've got enough on my hands with classroom management, grading, running like a maniac between schools, etc, etc. Lora also told me the story of a long-term sub last year that had a nervous breakdown... the brave who have fallen before me....
Lesson of day 2: Par down my expectations of myself (I will not have the entire semester planned out by Saturday, I will not have the entire semester planned out by Saturday...). Ask for help. Get ideas from teachers. Let go of the fear of being annoying. Eat a banana after 5th hour for energy. Keep stash of chocolate in drawer for emergencies. Remember to pee before 4th hour.
Monday, February 1, 2010
I survived!
I made it.
My thoughts of the day, in list form:
1. I don't have a gol-darn clue what I'm doing tomorrow in Academic Writing (I have a topic - "The Writing Process" - does that count?).
2. I don't really care that I don't have a clue, because I'll figure it out tonight.
3. I felt like a million bucks speed walking around the school with my name badge, opening locked doors with my keys, making copies and introducing myself as "Miss Morreim."
4. Last, but not least, I loved every minute of today. Ok, maybe not the 3 times I was mistaken for a student ("What?! You teach here?"), but every other minute, I loved.
[Check back with me on #4 by Thursday]
My thoughts of the day, in list form:
1. I don't have a gol-darn clue what I'm doing tomorrow in Academic Writing (I have a topic - "The Writing Process" - does that count?).
2. I don't really care that I don't have a clue, because I'll figure it out tonight.
3. I felt like a million bucks speed walking around the school with my name badge, opening locked doors with my keys, making copies and introducing myself as "Miss Morreim."
4. Last, but not least, I loved every minute of today. Ok, maybe not the 3 times I was mistaken for a student ("What?! You teach here?"), but every other minute, I loved.
[Check back with me on #4 by Thursday]
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