restored

Funny the things I turn to for satisfaction, when all the while, the Lord is near and is waiting. My actions are evidence of what I'm really trusting in. I'm trusting that this big old cup of Starbucks coffee will morph me into the most productive and creative teacher while I plan lessons today. I'm trusting that if I schedule out my entire day, if I write it all in ink into my planner, then it will happen. I wrote it in ink, didn't I? I'm trusting in the belief that other people's perceptions of me matter the most, and I can tell I'm doing so because my feelings are contingent on what I perceive they must be thinking of me. What do my students think? What do my colleagues think? I'm trusting in my own plans and in my own power. "No thanks, God, I've got this one. Really."

In other words: I know I'm not perfect, I see my shortcomings all too clearly, but instead of going to the Lord for forgiveness and fulfillment I am trying to fix it myself. I have this feeling that I don't quite measure up because I don't measure up. This is truth: we fall short of perfection. Well, now what? How do we react to this? I know what doesn't work: trying to live life on Starbucks coffee and a day planner.

I'm forgetting about a very important adverb.

In the book of Jeremiah, Israel messed up (how's that for a Biblical synopsis?). The prophet Jeremiah had the happy job of announcing the destruction of the kingdom of Judah, "This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says about the houses in this city and the royal places of Judah that have been torn down to be used against the siege ramps and the sword in the fight with the Babylonians: 'They will be filled with the dead bodies of the men I will slay in my anger and wrath. I will hide my face from this city because of all its wickedness.'" -Jeremiah 33:4-5. They sinned, and there was a very real consequence for that sin.

But what is the very next word? Nevertheless. It's an adverb. Adverbs modify and describe verbs; it changes their meaning entirely. Pay attention to them. The story does not end with God doling out an appropriate judgment to Israel; the action of his judgment and wrath is absolutely modified by the promise of restoration that follows. God then says, "Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before. I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me... there will be heard once more the sounds of joy and gladness." He brings abundant peace to our hearts, an overwhelming security. He fully knows and sees our sin - YET - He rebuilds, restores, cleanses, forgives, infuses joy and gladness into us once more. His love is nothing short of fierce, powerful, unwarranted, undeserved, incomparable. Pure.

Pay attention to adverbs. The truth is easily twisted. We are sinners, but do not forget about "nevertheless." Do not forget about the promise of restoration that God freely offers to us. Stop trying to hit the reset button all by yourself, because you can't. Believe you me, I've been trying. Go to him. Step into grace. "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." -Jeremiah 33:2.