I was reading essays last night, and numerous kids wrote about summertime, sunshine, cabins, and lakes. I don't think I've ever wanted spring to come as badly as I do this year!
I'm getting lonely out here without a lot of gal-pal interaction. The past couple of days, especially, I am definitely feeling the adjustment to a new life. As such, I am finding it very hard to focus on lesson planning/grading. My friends are scattered everywhere, and we are all going through the same process; the difference is, now we're not physically there to support each other. We've jumped into new lives but are still breaking the habits and routines of what we knew for years. I think I'm still figuring out the best ways to unstress and unwind after the bell rings and I've still got stuff to do. I'm living on a prayer, people.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
rotten banana, please report to the front office...
Last Tuesday I had a bag with a banana and a nutri-grain bar in it. To my uttermost confusion, it "disappeared." After rummaging around for a solid 30 seconds, I raised my white flag of surrender and went on to more pressing matters; i.e., googling "how to be an english teacher." I just found it lurking in the bottom drawer of my file cabinet, which was apparently the most logical place to put it (she says with sarcasm). Banana's official time of death: 2:57pm, February 8th. Poor thing.
Today I parked in visitor's parking... and I took the elevator to 3rd floor. And I had a cup of Culligan water even though I'm not on the list. My collegiate behavior needs a tune-up.
I've decided to nix making goals. For example, I had a goal that this weekend I would plan out all of next week. I did not reach said goal. I did, however, come out of the weekend with a new pair of $8 shoes and some hockey skating practice. Thus, I am forgoing all goals, and forthwith will consider any measure of productivity a raging accomplishment.
Today I parked in visitor's parking... and I took the elevator to 3rd floor. And I had a cup of Culligan water even though I'm not on the list. My collegiate behavior needs a tune-up.
I've decided to nix making goals. For example, I had a goal that this weekend I would plan out all of next week. I did not reach said goal. I did, however, come out of the weekend with a new pair of $8 shoes and some hockey skating practice. Thus, I am forgoing all goals, and forthwith will consider any measure of productivity a raging accomplishment.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
consistency
Teaching shows you the nature of your heart. It's a barometer, really, that gives me an instant reading of the amount of patience and love in me at that moment. How I respond to the fifth student asking the same innocent question, for example, carries a lot of weight with those who are watching me. Am I consistent? Kind? Clear? Loving?
In the interest of finding the true meaning of a word, and in the mission of reflecting upon one of the most important character traits it takes to be a teacher, here's the definition of consistent:
adjective
1. agreeing or accordant; compatible; not self-contradictory: His views and actions are consistent.
2. constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.: a consistent opponent.
3. holding firmly together; cohering.
4. Archaic. fixed; firm.
Fixed, anchored, cohesive, harmonious, reliable, uniform. I don't know if you can try to be consistent, because it seems to require something beyond that - I think our actions and reactions bubble up from beliefs, convictions, values. Simply put, out of the overflow of our heart, we speak, act, damage, or repair. Where's my heart at? Knowing and dealing with that is much more effective than any classroom management technique or relationship approach, because it requires me to grapple with the source of my attitude.
Do I interact the same way with the clerk at Payless Shoes as I do with the principal of the school? With my 8th grade confirmation girls and my close girlfriends? Between my parents and my boyfriend?
Something to think about.
In the interest of finding the true meaning of a word, and in the mission of reflecting upon one of the most important character traits it takes to be a teacher, here's the definition of consistent:
adjective
1. agreeing or accordant; compatible; not self-contradictory: His views and actions are consistent.
2. constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.: a consistent opponent.
3. holding firmly together; cohering.
4. Archaic. fixed; firm.
Fixed, anchored, cohesive, harmonious, reliable, uniform. I don't know if you can try to be consistent, because it seems to require something beyond that - I think our actions and reactions bubble up from beliefs, convictions, values. Simply put, out of the overflow of our heart, we speak, act, damage, or repair. Where's my heart at? Knowing and dealing with that is much more effective than any classroom management technique or relationship approach, because it requires me to grapple with the source of my attitude.
Do I interact the same way with the clerk at Payless Shoes as I do with the principal of the school? With my 8th grade confirmation girls and my close girlfriends? Between my parents and my boyfriend?
Something to think about.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Bambi got murdered
We read aloud our personal essays today in Academic Writing. The highlight, by far, was one kid's essay titled: "The Day I Killed Bambi." He then went on to explain how he shot a deer in the legs, which didn't kill it. Trying to put Bambi out of her misery, he shot her in the head. When the deer STILL wasn't dead, he slit its throat. "Finally, 45 minutes later, the stupid thing finally died... I was just trying to put it out of its misery." I was laughing so hard I was crying. The way this kid told his story was just priceless. [Apologies to any animal lovers out there...] Between that and another kid declaring yesterday that islands didn't exist, since technically, we live on an island (also known as a continent...), it's been an entertaining couple of days.
On Thursday I woke up disoriented and thoroughly confused, thinking I was still student teaching...Why am I still student teaching? Shouldn't I have been done with that a couple weeks ago? Today I woke up giddy thinking about kicking back and drinking a glass of vino tonight.
I have a comrade across the hall! Katie and I are in the same boat - new teachers, living with our parents (ha!), and we haven't a clue what we're doing. Every day after school we ensue in our daily therapy session. It's cathartic. Our excuse for chit-chatting is that we're "collaborating"...he he. It's an understatement to say that she's kept me sane this week!
I refuse to look at schoolwork tonight. Tomorrow at 9am I'll check back into reality, but until then, I am going to blissfully ignore all lesson plans and curriculum maps and quizzes and poems and IEP's and e-mails and grammar books and...
On Thursday I woke up disoriented and thoroughly confused, thinking I was still student teaching...Why am I still student teaching? Shouldn't I have been done with that a couple weeks ago? Today I woke up giddy thinking about kicking back and drinking a glass of vino tonight.
I have a comrade across the hall! Katie and I are in the same boat - new teachers, living with our parents (ha!), and we haven't a clue what we're doing. Every day after school we ensue in our daily therapy session. It's cathartic. Our excuse for chit-chatting is that we're "collaborating"...he he. It's an understatement to say that she's kept me sane this week!
I refuse to look at schoolwork tonight. Tomorrow at 9am I'll check back into reality, but until then, I am going to blissfully ignore all lesson plans and curriculum maps and quizzes and poems and IEP's and e-mails and grammar books and...
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
It's only Wednesday?
I'm catching on: finally picked up my mail today. Well, I have a caveat at Lakeville South High School since I don't have a mailbox there yet (notice that I'm not rallying the troops for one, either... that would mean I would be responsible for even more papers to keep track of). The sweet secretary Jean over here at North High School kindly reminded me to pick up my mail. I wish I could say that it was on my radar, but honestly, the thought never occurred to me, "I have a mailbox. Pick up your mail." You think I'm crazy, but it's funny the things that have been topping my priority list these last three days.
To no surprise, my passenger side has morphed into my traveling teacher's trash receptacle. The current tally: 3 lunchable containers, 4 nutri-grain bar wrappers, 1 plastic bag, and 1 empty McDonald's 16oz coffee cup.
Here's my teaching schedule:
Periods 1 & 2: Goals at Lakeville South High School
3: Travel to North High School/lunch/prep time
4: Academic Writing
5: Goals
6: Creative Writing
Here's my teaching schedule, the unedited version:
1 & 2: "Listen kiddos, read a novel, because I don't have your stuff yet."
3: Jet to the bathroom, pack up my crap, speedwalk through the high school, jump into my car, unwrap lunchable, put car in gear, simultaneously drive, eat, and shout sassy comments to slow drivers ("Hey, drive faster lady, I'm trying to educate your children, here!"), enter Lakeville North, swing by the copy room for Kristi and Nancy to make all my copies that I need... uh... next hour, unlock room, plan, visit, visit, plan, stare at wall thinking of lesson plan ideas, wonder how I'm going to make it through the day.
4: This is the class period where I am seriously pretending like I know what I'm doing. This week, they're writing a personal essay. Next week? You think I know what I'm doing next week?
5: "If I see your cell phone one more time..."
6: Breath-of-fresh-air class. Fishbowl discussion today, kids got philosophical, wrote some cool poems in the style of Langston Hughes' "Theme for English B."
Tonight I start volunteering as a leader at my church. I'll be co-leading a group of 8th grade girls through confirmation. I decided that if I start right away with that commitment, it will just be a natural part of my schedule. I don't want to turn into a TOTAL hermit, yah know...
To no surprise, my passenger side has morphed into my traveling teacher's trash receptacle. The current tally: 3 lunchable containers, 4 nutri-grain bar wrappers, 1 plastic bag, and 1 empty McDonald's 16oz coffee cup.
Here's my teaching schedule:
Periods 1 & 2: Goals at Lakeville South High School
3: Travel to North High School/lunch/prep time
4: Academic Writing
5: Goals
6: Creative Writing
Here's my teaching schedule, the unedited version:
1 & 2: "Listen kiddos, read a novel, because I don't have your stuff yet."
3: Jet to the bathroom, pack up my crap, speedwalk through the high school, jump into my car, unwrap lunchable, put car in gear, simultaneously drive, eat, and shout sassy comments to slow drivers ("Hey, drive faster lady, I'm trying to educate your children, here!"), enter Lakeville North, swing by the copy room for Kristi and Nancy to make all my copies that I need... uh... next hour, unlock room, plan, visit, visit, plan, stare at wall thinking of lesson plan ideas, wonder how I'm going to make it through the day.
4: This is the class period where I am seriously pretending like I know what I'm doing. This week, they're writing a personal essay. Next week? You think I know what I'm doing next week?
5: "If I see your cell phone one more time..."
6: Breath-of-fresh-air class. Fishbowl discussion today, kids got philosophical, wrote some cool poems in the style of Langston Hughes' "Theme for English B."
Tonight I start volunteering as a leader at my church. I'll be co-leading a group of 8th grade girls through confirmation. I decided that if I start right away with that commitment, it will just be a natural part of my schedule. I don't want to turn into a TOTAL hermit, yah know...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My mind is fuzzzy
Ok, it's been my mission today to ask as many teachers as I could if it's normal to be planning the next day's lesson the night before. I am glad to report my findings: all 5 of the teachers I asked gave me a resounding "YES, that is normal, you are not crazy, and this is my (15th, 8th, 22nd) year of teaching and I still do that."
Phew. One less thing to carry around: the guilt of not having my entire week planned out.
My mentor Lora stopped by after school today and it was a breath of fresh air to talk with her. She encouraged me to ask teachers as much as I can what they are doing in Academic or Creative Writing - and to just downright steal their lessons. I voiced my concern of "would teachers be put off by my taking their lessons?" and her response was absolutely not. Teachers do it all the time, she said, and it's all a part of collaboration and teaching. Don't reinvent the wheel - talk to someone and get materials to work with. Why kill myself? I've got enough on my hands with classroom management, grading, running like a maniac between schools, etc, etc. Lora also told me the story of a long-term sub last year that had a nervous breakdown... the brave who have fallen before me....
Lesson of day 2: Par down my expectations of myself (I will not have the entire semester planned out by Saturday, I will not have the entire semester planned out by Saturday...). Ask for help. Get ideas from teachers. Let go of the fear of being annoying. Eat a banana after 5th hour for energy. Keep stash of chocolate in drawer for emergencies. Remember to pee before 4th hour.
Phew. One less thing to carry around: the guilt of not having my entire week planned out.
My mentor Lora stopped by after school today and it was a breath of fresh air to talk with her. She encouraged me to ask teachers as much as I can what they are doing in Academic or Creative Writing - and to just downright steal their lessons. I voiced my concern of "would teachers be put off by my taking their lessons?" and her response was absolutely not. Teachers do it all the time, she said, and it's all a part of collaboration and teaching. Don't reinvent the wheel - talk to someone and get materials to work with. Why kill myself? I've got enough on my hands with classroom management, grading, running like a maniac between schools, etc, etc. Lora also told me the story of a long-term sub last year that had a nervous breakdown... the brave who have fallen before me....
Lesson of day 2: Par down my expectations of myself (I will not have the entire semester planned out by Saturday, I will not have the entire semester planned out by Saturday...). Ask for help. Get ideas from teachers. Let go of the fear of being annoying. Eat a banana after 5th hour for energy. Keep stash of chocolate in drawer for emergencies. Remember to pee before 4th hour.
Monday, February 1, 2010
I survived!
I made it.
My thoughts of the day, in list form:
1. I don't have a gol-darn clue what I'm doing tomorrow in Academic Writing (I have a topic - "The Writing Process" - does that count?).
2. I don't really care that I don't have a clue, because I'll figure it out tonight.
3. I felt like a million bucks speed walking around the school with my name badge, opening locked doors with my keys, making copies and introducing myself as "Miss Morreim."
4. Last, but not least, I loved every minute of today. Ok, maybe not the 3 times I was mistaken for a student ("What?! You teach here?"), but every other minute, I loved.
[Check back with me on #4 by Thursday]
My thoughts of the day, in list form:
1. I don't have a gol-darn clue what I'm doing tomorrow in Academic Writing (I have a topic - "The Writing Process" - does that count?).
2. I don't really care that I don't have a clue, because I'll figure it out tonight.
3. I felt like a million bucks speed walking around the school with my name badge, opening locked doors with my keys, making copies and introducing myself as "Miss Morreim."
4. Last, but not least, I loved every minute of today. Ok, maybe not the 3 times I was mistaken for a student ("What?! You teach here?"), but every other minute, I loved.
[Check back with me on #4 by Thursday]
Sunday, January 31, 2010
D-Day
Tomorrow is my first day of teaching.
[holy crap]
It has been a whirlwind of a week. Last Friday was my last day of student teaching. This was the phase of "getting a real teaching job in the future is a far-off and distant thing...and it seems so nice in theory." Saturday, I moved out of Eau Claire and back into my parent's place. (I'm working on that one...but the free food, laundry service, and friendly company - i.e., my dog Harley - are enough to keep a girl happy for a time). On Monday, I got the call that I got the job. Tuesday, started coughing, slept all day = bronchitis. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are a blur of too many trips to Office Max, Target, and Walmart and shoving around chairs in my classroom.
On Friday I had a breakdown. I couldn't breathe through my nose, icky stuff was coming out of my lungs, I missed my friends, I didn't have a thing planned for Monday let alone the entire semester, and the reality of a full-time job finally hit me. At the prodding of Lance, I gave up on life and went to bed at 7pm. 13 hours of sleep did me some good.
If you want to know what I'm really thinking, I'm wondering if my students will know that I'm barely a step ahead of them in the class. I'm wondering if I have what it takes to be a teacher, and I keep asking God that question. I also keep asking God if He thinks I can actually do this. Here's the thing: it's not pretend anymore. I'm in my own classroom (all by myself) and it's up to me to teach those kids how to write a thesis, or what a dangling modifier is, or how to channel their lost child into the best damn haiku they've ever attempted to write. I've been entrusted by those who hired me to do a good job and to earn the paycheck I'll get.
I reached a point today where I thought that a bare-bones sketch of the week was good enough, and I resigned myself to not being able to plan out the entire semester in one day. I just took a swig of NyQuil in the hopes of helping my lungs out a little. I will just have to get up tomorrow morning and plunge right in.
Jumping from theory into practice is a whole new animal.
[holy crap]
It has been a whirlwind of a week. Last Friday was my last day of student teaching. This was the phase of "getting a real teaching job in the future is a far-off and distant thing...and it seems so nice in theory." Saturday, I moved out of Eau Claire and back into my parent's place. (I'm working on that one...but the free food, laundry service, and friendly company - i.e., my dog Harley - are enough to keep a girl happy for a time). On Monday, I got the call that I got the job. Tuesday, started coughing, slept all day = bronchitis. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are a blur of too many trips to Office Max, Target, and Walmart and shoving around chairs in my classroom.
On Friday I had a breakdown. I couldn't breathe through my nose, icky stuff was coming out of my lungs, I missed my friends, I didn't have a thing planned for Monday let alone the entire semester, and the reality of a full-time job finally hit me. At the prodding of Lance, I gave up on life and went to bed at 7pm. 13 hours of sleep did me some good.
If you want to know what I'm really thinking, I'm wondering if my students will know that I'm barely a step ahead of them in the class. I'm wondering if I have what it takes to be a teacher, and I keep asking God that question. I also keep asking God if He thinks I can actually do this. Here's the thing: it's not pretend anymore. I'm in my own classroom (all by myself) and it's up to me to teach those kids how to write a thesis, or what a dangling modifier is, or how to channel their lost child into the best damn haiku they've ever attempted to write. I've been entrusted by those who hired me to do a good job and to earn the paycheck I'll get.
I reached a point today where I thought that a bare-bones sketch of the week was good enough, and I resigned myself to not being able to plan out the entire semester in one day. I just took a swig of NyQuil in the hopes of helping my lungs out a little. I will just have to get up tomorrow morning and plunge right in.
Jumping from theory into practice is a whole new animal.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The freedom we have
This morning, I read through the book of Ephesians, which is chock-full of promises about our identity in Jesus Christ. "In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence," -Ephesians 3:12. What a wonderful reminder of the redemption he offers freely to us! Freedom and confidence. Not guilt, shame, judgement, or worry. Be encouraged - "but now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ," -Ephesians 2:13. End of story. We've been bought with a price, and we've been fully and completely redeemed if we place our faith in Christ. Are our everyday lives being shaped by this incredible truth?
Christ came to save us; he also came to bring freedom. He saved us from the pits of hell and the darkness of sin, yes. But there's more - what good is a rescue from a terrible car wreck if we are left to live out our lives in the emergency room, hooked up to an IV and machines? He doesn't just offer to save us, he offers to heal us: he wants us to be up and walking around, wounds healed, checked out of the hospital and liberated from what weighs us down. Jesus kicked off his public ministry (Luke 1:16-21) by reading this scripture aloud in a synagogue:
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."
-Isaiah 61:1-3.
Jesus begins his public ministry by choosing this scripture to read - it must be central to what he came to do for us! He came to bind up our broken hearts, to tell of his redemption, to bring freedom for the captives and to set the prisoners free. What are you being held captive by? What kind of sin is in your life that's holding you back from experiencing the freedom Jesus brings? Are you worrying, are you believing in the lie that you can do life on your own, that you don't really need God? He wants to replace your struggles with healing. He will gingerly take the pieces of your heart that are tired and broken, damaged and painful, and put them into a semblance of a whole by wrapping it up with his unfailing love. Have faith in his promise that he will do it. That's what he came to do!
Christ came to save us; he also came to bring freedom. He saved us from the pits of hell and the darkness of sin, yes. But there's more - what good is a rescue from a terrible car wreck if we are left to live out our lives in the emergency room, hooked up to an IV and machines? He doesn't just offer to save us, he offers to heal us: he wants us to be up and walking around, wounds healed, checked out of the hospital and liberated from what weighs us down. Jesus kicked off his public ministry (Luke 1:16-21) by reading this scripture aloud in a synagogue:
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."
-Isaiah 61:1-3.
Jesus begins his public ministry by choosing this scripture to read - it must be central to what he came to do for us! He came to bind up our broken hearts, to tell of his redemption, to bring freedom for the captives and to set the prisoners free. What are you being held captive by? What kind of sin is in your life that's holding you back from experiencing the freedom Jesus brings? Are you worrying, are you believing in the lie that you can do life on your own, that you don't really need God? He wants to replace your struggles with healing. He will gingerly take the pieces of your heart that are tired and broken, damaged and painful, and put them into a semblance of a whole by wrapping it up with his unfailing love. Have faith in his promise that he will do it. That's what he came to do!
Friday, July 17, 2009
...I call myself a blogger?
Phew! It has been quite a while, my friends. Since it might be a little much to rehash everything that's happened here in the last month, I'll write about whatever comes to mind (which are probably the most significant anyways).
I've had visitors! Lance braved the $49/night Summer Sea Inn (cockroaches and all) and we had a great time together. It was good to see him! He kicked my butt in cribbage and mini-golf... now I'm on a mission to even the score. Last weekend my parents came, and they really toughed it out at the Wyndham :) Ha!
Please pray for Steph and her family. Steph was one of the four student directors here on project. She left for home on Monday for the rest of the summer - her mom is in grave health right now. Please pray for comfort for Steph and her family and that the Lord would give them strength and peace during this time. We miss Steph a lot down here, too. Pray especially for them tomorrow (Saturday) as her mom will be going into surgery.
On Monday I was working the drive-thru, and one of my favorite customers made an appearance. Her name's Miss Geri. She's probably in her 60's, with bleached blonde hair teased within an inch of its life, bright lipstick, and an outspoken love for God. Steph's situation hit a lot of us pretty hard, and on Monday I was pretty emotional about the whole thing. When Miss Geri pulled up to the window we got to talking and I told her about it all. I think I asked her offhand if she would pray for Steph and her family, and before I knew it, Miss Geri leaned over, grabbed my hand, and prayed right then and there.
Jesus guarantees that life will be hard - "in this world, you will have trouble." Our hearts ache for Steph and what she's going through. I'm sure Steph's heart is breaking. Her mom knows and loves the Lord, but it doesn't mean that this whole thing doesn't hurt. What follows Jesus' declaration is a holy promise of God - "but take heart! I have overcome the world." He's our strength and our comfort. Life will not always make sense, there is pain, and there is sadness. But we have God on our side. His ways may be hard to understand sometimes, but he is God, and he is good.
Over the past few weeks there's been a lot of transition as the staff left for the summer. It's us 94 students, on our own! And I love it. We're learning a lot and spreading our wings. I'm co-leading the community team with Nate, and I'm having a blast doing it.
Please pray for my Russian friend, Olenka. Olenka is here for the summer, working a couple jobs and experiencing what America's all about. She's also seeking for truth in her life. I've gotten a chance to spend time with Olenka and share the gospel with her. I hung out with her again on Wednesday (we snuck into the Wyndham pool, haha) and we a deep conversation about God, prayer, faith, why bad things happen in life and why God doesn't step in and fix it all. Olenka said that she's been thinking more about God lately - please pray for her! It's obvious that God is drawing her near him more and more. Pray that she would find the Lord this summer and understand how incredible and strong his love is for her. I see Olenka again on Sunday - we're going out to lunch and shopping. Pray that she would come filled with questions about God, and pray that I'd be ready to answer anything she asks.
Last week, one of my managers had a severe asthma attack and an ambulance had to come. Needless to say, it was kind of scary. Perhaps it was the realization that there are no guarantees in life - that as much as we think we have tomorrow, we have no right to make that claim - but throughout the week I got to have some good talks about God with my co-workers, especially Toni and Katoria. Pray that I would have a chance to share God's love with my co-workers and to tell them specifically about what Christ has done in my life.
God is deepening my faith - I'm searching after Him and who he really is. I have this craving to know who he is, what he promises, what he's like: I've found that a right concept of God and having faith in him leads to genuine change in heart and attitude. I want to see God, and he's been showing me who he is through his word and what he promises there. He promises that if we seek after him with all our hearts, we will find him: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13.
Until next time, adeui!
I've had visitors! Lance braved the $49/night Summer Sea Inn (cockroaches and all) and we had a great time together. It was good to see him! He kicked my butt in cribbage and mini-golf... now I'm on a mission to even the score. Last weekend my parents came, and they really toughed it out at the Wyndham :) Ha!
Please pray for Steph and her family. Steph was one of the four student directors here on project. She left for home on Monday for the rest of the summer - her mom is in grave health right now. Please pray for comfort for Steph and her family and that the Lord would give them strength and peace during this time. We miss Steph a lot down here, too. Pray especially for them tomorrow (Saturday) as her mom will be going into surgery.
On Monday I was working the drive-thru, and one of my favorite customers made an appearance. Her name's Miss Geri. She's probably in her 60's, with bleached blonde hair teased within an inch of its life, bright lipstick, and an outspoken love for God. Steph's situation hit a lot of us pretty hard, and on Monday I was pretty emotional about the whole thing. When Miss Geri pulled up to the window we got to talking and I told her about it all. I think I asked her offhand if she would pray for Steph and her family, and before I knew it, Miss Geri leaned over, grabbed my hand, and prayed right then and there.
Jesus guarantees that life will be hard - "in this world, you will have trouble." Our hearts ache for Steph and what she's going through. I'm sure Steph's heart is breaking. Her mom knows and loves the Lord, but it doesn't mean that this whole thing doesn't hurt. What follows Jesus' declaration is a holy promise of God - "but take heart! I have overcome the world." He's our strength and our comfort. Life will not always make sense, there is pain, and there is sadness. But we have God on our side. His ways may be hard to understand sometimes, but he is God, and he is good.
Over the past few weeks there's been a lot of transition as the staff left for the summer. It's us 94 students, on our own! And I love it. We're learning a lot and spreading our wings. I'm co-leading the community team with Nate, and I'm having a blast doing it.
Please pray for my Russian friend, Olenka. Olenka is here for the summer, working a couple jobs and experiencing what America's all about. She's also seeking for truth in her life. I've gotten a chance to spend time with Olenka and share the gospel with her. I hung out with her again on Wednesday (we snuck into the Wyndham pool, haha) and we a deep conversation about God, prayer, faith, why bad things happen in life and why God doesn't step in and fix it all. Olenka said that she's been thinking more about God lately - please pray for her! It's obvious that God is drawing her near him more and more. Pray that she would find the Lord this summer and understand how incredible and strong his love is for her. I see Olenka again on Sunday - we're going out to lunch and shopping. Pray that she would come filled with questions about God, and pray that I'd be ready to answer anything she asks.
Last week, one of my managers had a severe asthma attack and an ambulance had to come. Needless to say, it was kind of scary. Perhaps it was the realization that there are no guarantees in life - that as much as we think we have tomorrow, we have no right to make that claim - but throughout the week I got to have some good talks about God with my co-workers, especially Toni and Katoria. Pray that I would have a chance to share God's love with my co-workers and to tell them specifically about what Christ has done in my life.
God is deepening my faith - I'm searching after Him and who he really is. I have this craving to know who he is, what he promises, what he's like: I've found that a right concept of God and having faith in him leads to genuine change in heart and attitude. I want to see God, and he's been showing me who he is through his word and what he promises there. He promises that if we seek after him with all our hearts, we will find him: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13.
Until next time, adeui!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Jill vs. the alarm clock
Just ask my Mom, or Jill Hensiak. Getting up in the morning has been an eternal struggle in the life of Jill. Mornings are not my forte, and alarm clocks are not my friend. Which, in turn, has most likely produced my caffeine dependency. It has also produced a lot of excuses.
Yesterday I finally got up early enough to plop on my couch and read my Bible. I was lead to Mark 4:3-8, "Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times."
Smack! God has hit me with conviction. What am I doing to till good soil in my heart for the Word to land on? Am I giving it room to grow, setting aside significant time in my day so it can take deep root? Is the first real thought of my day how much I hate my alarm clock or how big God is? I've been thinking about those verses since yesterday morning, and God has taught me that I need to start my day with him - not out of ritual or because it's what "good Christians" do, but because I need to give him time, I need to give him good soil. His word needs to define my day.
Yesterday I finally got up early enough to plop on my couch and read my Bible. I was lead to Mark 4:3-8, "Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times."
Smack! God has hit me with conviction. What am I doing to till good soil in my heart for the Word to land on? Am I giving it room to grow, setting aside significant time in my day so it can take deep root? Is the first real thought of my day how much I hate my alarm clock or how big God is? I've been thinking about those verses since yesterday morning, and God has taught me that I need to start my day with him - not out of ritual or because it's what "good Christians" do, but because I need to give him time, I need to give him good soil. His word needs to define my day.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
"Come on in, child. Let's go worship the Lord."
One of our co-workers, Felicia, invited us to go to her church today, Poplar African Methodist Episcopal Church. As we asked permission to attend from our project director, Gary, he smiled, leaned in a bit and said, "Just in case you don't know, you'll probably be the only white people there."
I'll just lay it out there: I rarely find myself in the minority. I can count the number of times on my hand that it's happened. As Bayley, Danielle and myself drove 8 miles into the South Carolina countryside, the nerves started to hit. Before we stepped out of the car Bayley threw up a prayer, "God, we ask that you'd be with us this morning. Give us someone welcoming as we go into this church." I giggled nervously and wondered what the church would think of three white girls from Minnesota randomly attending their service.
God answered Bayley's prayer before it was even spoken out loud. A warm, wonderful black Southern woman in the car next to us greeted us, enveloping all of us in hugs and kissing us on the cheek. "Come on in, come on now, welcome! Come on in, child. Let's go worship the Lord."
We were greeted with handshakes, hugs, smiles and conversation. The church was small but pristine, with stained glass windows and quilted red velvet pews, women adorned with colorful hats, men in pinstriped suits, little boys in bow ties and girls with ribbons in their hair. The service started with a very unassuming woman in a white suit stepping up to the pulpit, gingerly taking the microphone into her hand. Then she started to pray. Don't kid yourself. She did not pray how you'd think a small, sweet, elderly woman would - her voice grew louder and louder and she threw her hands in the air and thanked the Lord Jesus. "Amen" and "Hallelujiah" rang out from the church pews, from the choir, from the Reverend. This was a church that prayed together.
The 2 1/2 hour service flowed without concern for time or appearance. I gave up trying to follow along in my bulletin. Reverend Matthew Furness spoke on Acts 24:24-25: "Several days later Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was a Jewess. He sent for Paul and listened to him as he spoke about faith in Christ Jesus. As Paul discoursed on righteousness, self-control and the judgement to come, Felix was afraid and said, 'That's enough for now! You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you.'"
Reverend Furness brought it home. Often we approach following God as something that must conveniently fit into our schedule - I do, at least. What are we afraid of? Are we afraid of what he might ask us to do, or give up, or bring into our lives? If I'm honest, it's challenging to always act on the belief that God is completely and fully good: that his plan for our lives is so much more amazing and fulfilling than the crayon-drawn blueprints we come up with, that he loves us perfectly, that the truth of God gives us more freedom than anything else in this world. We want control of our own lives because then, at least, it's predictable (or we'd like to think so).
As we were leaving, a woman came up to us and gave us each little plaques with the "Footprints" poem on it, thanking us for coming to church. Every single person that said goodbye to us thanked us for coming, and asked us to come back as they offered their open arms to hug us. I couldn't help but think that God does that very same thing.
I'll just lay it out there: I rarely find myself in the minority. I can count the number of times on my hand that it's happened. As Bayley, Danielle and myself drove 8 miles into the South Carolina countryside, the nerves started to hit. Before we stepped out of the car Bayley threw up a prayer, "God, we ask that you'd be with us this morning. Give us someone welcoming as we go into this church." I giggled nervously and wondered what the church would think of three white girls from Minnesota randomly attending their service.
God answered Bayley's prayer before it was even spoken out loud. A warm, wonderful black Southern woman in the car next to us greeted us, enveloping all of us in hugs and kissing us on the cheek. "Come on in, come on now, welcome! Come on in, child. Let's go worship the Lord."
We were greeted with handshakes, hugs, smiles and conversation. The church was small but pristine, with stained glass windows and quilted red velvet pews, women adorned with colorful hats, men in pinstriped suits, little boys in bow ties and girls with ribbons in their hair. The service started with a very unassuming woman in a white suit stepping up to the pulpit, gingerly taking the microphone into her hand. Then she started to pray. Don't kid yourself. She did not pray how you'd think a small, sweet, elderly woman would - her voice grew louder and louder and she threw her hands in the air and thanked the Lord Jesus. "Amen" and "Hallelujiah" rang out from the church pews, from the choir, from the Reverend. This was a church that prayed together.
The 2 1/2 hour service flowed without concern for time or appearance. I gave up trying to follow along in my bulletin. Reverend Matthew Furness spoke on Acts 24:24-25: "Several days later Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was a Jewess. He sent for Paul and listened to him as he spoke about faith in Christ Jesus. As Paul discoursed on righteousness, self-control and the judgement to come, Felix was afraid and said, 'That's enough for now! You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you.'"
Reverend Furness brought it home. Often we approach following God as something that must conveniently fit into our schedule - I do, at least. What are we afraid of? Are we afraid of what he might ask us to do, or give up, or bring into our lives? If I'm honest, it's challenging to always act on the belief that God is completely and fully good: that his plan for our lives is so much more amazing and fulfilling than the crayon-drawn blueprints we come up with, that he loves us perfectly, that the truth of God gives us more freedom than anything else in this world. We want control of our own lives because then, at least, it's predictable (or we'd like to think so).
As we were leaving, a woman came up to us and gave us each little plaques with the "Footprints" poem on it, thanking us for coming to church. Every single person that said goodbye to us thanked us for coming, and asked us to come back as they offered their open arms to hug us. I couldn't help but think that God does that very same thing.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Wow. Yes, what everyone says about project is true - time FLIES.
I am working at McDonald's! Swing by and say hello. I'll be the Minnesotan girl working the drive-thru window, trying to decipher thick Southern accents through a crackling speaker.
"That was a small sprite, sir?"
"A small fry. FRY! I don't want no small sprite!"
"Oh yah, sure, no problem there sir, see you at the first window."
It's two languages colliding. Seeing as how I'm outnumbered, I've learned to translate.
I am so blessed to be working where I am - two other Crusaders work there, Bayley and Danille. We LOVE it. Whenever I hear "Miss Jill" or "scuse me, baby" I can't help but smile. They've been very patient with us this week, and God answered our prayers that we would catch on fast and learn quick. No one believes me when I tell them how great it is there. I feel more energized leaving work than I did coming into it - cool, huh? Not to mention, the highwater pleated black shorts are a definite perk.
I feel like I've known everyone here for years. God has fused instant connections, and as we share with each other and pray with each other, I have this sneaking suspicion that He's got a lot up his sleeve. There are wonderful women on this project and I never get tired of hearing their stories - what's made them who they are, their hurts, their joys, their healing and their hope.
Pray for my co-workers: Fenicia, Felicia, Marcus, Marco, Michael, Shannon, Toni, Gwen, Shimitrice, Angel, Alexis, Winnisette, Everton, Stacie, Ashley, Katoria, Lakeem.
Pray for this project! People need to hear the good news. Pray that we would be bold and loving while we share it. How amazing is it that God calls us sons and daughters? We are fiercely and compassionately loved by Him. I don't understand it, but in the meantime, I'm satisfied with sinking my feet into the sand and letting my heart be filled with the kind of joy and peace that doesn't fade with summertime.
I am working at McDonald's! Swing by and say hello. I'll be the Minnesotan girl working the drive-thru window, trying to decipher thick Southern accents through a crackling speaker.
"That was a small sprite, sir?"
"A small fry. FRY! I don't want no small sprite!"
"Oh yah, sure, no problem there sir, see you at the first window."
It's two languages colliding. Seeing as how I'm outnumbered, I've learned to translate.
I am so blessed to be working where I am - two other Crusaders work there, Bayley and Danille. We LOVE it. Whenever I hear "Miss Jill" or "scuse me, baby" I can't help but smile. They've been very patient with us this week, and God answered our prayers that we would catch on fast and learn quick. No one believes me when I tell them how great it is there. I feel more energized leaving work than I did coming into it - cool, huh? Not to mention, the highwater pleated black shorts are a definite perk.
I feel like I've known everyone here for years. God has fused instant connections, and as we share with each other and pray with each other, I have this sneaking suspicion that He's got a lot up his sleeve. There are wonderful women on this project and I never get tired of hearing their stories - what's made them who they are, their hurts, their joys, their healing and their hope.
Pray for my co-workers: Fenicia, Felicia, Marcus, Marco, Michael, Shannon, Toni, Gwen, Shimitrice, Angel, Alexis, Winnisette, Everton, Stacie, Ashley, Katoria, Lakeem.
Pray for this project! People need to hear the good news. Pray that we would be bold and loving while we share it. How amazing is it that God calls us sons and daughters? We are fiercely and compassionately loved by Him. I don't understand it, but in the meantime, I'm satisfied with sinking my feet into the sand and letting my heart be filled with the kind of joy and peace that doesn't fade with summertime.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Just around the corner...
Only 4 more days until we pack up my CR-V to the brim and set out for North Myrtle Beach! Wahoo!
As of Monday, I reached 100% support. Frankly, I'm floored. And I think God is chuckling at me.
Before stepping into this summer, I find myself thinking a lot about what it is I'll learn and what I'll see in North Myrtle. My prayer is that God will leave this giant imprint on all of us - evidence that we've been with Jesus. In Acts 4, Peter and John are thrown into prison because they were preaching the word of God and performing miracles in Jesus' name. But people can't help but notice that Peter and John - although ordinary men - have something that is noticeably different about them. "When they saw the courage of Peter and John, and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and took note that these men had been with Jesus." -Acts 4:13. They had been with Jesus.
They had been with Jesus, and that alone was enough to change them. They did not try to be perfect, or say the right things, or deliver the gospel on their own power - they had been with Jesus, and as a result, couldn't help but talk about what they had seen and heard (Acts 4:20). It was a desire that welled up from the inside, that was jolted to life by the presence of Christ.
I'm so excited to see how Christ will change us this summer. He's going to wake up our hearts!
As of Monday, I reached 100% support. Frankly, I'm floored. And I think God is chuckling at me.
Before stepping into this summer, I find myself thinking a lot about what it is I'll learn and what I'll see in North Myrtle. My prayer is that God will leave this giant imprint on all of us - evidence that we've been with Jesus. In Acts 4, Peter and John are thrown into prison because they were preaching the word of God and performing miracles in Jesus' name. But people can't help but notice that Peter and John - although ordinary men - have something that is noticeably different about them. "When they saw the courage of Peter and John, and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and took note that these men had been with Jesus." -Acts 4:13. They had been with Jesus.
They had been with Jesus, and that alone was enough to change them. They did not try to be perfect, or say the right things, or deliver the gospel on their own power - they had been with Jesus, and as a result, couldn't help but talk about what they had seen and heard (Acts 4:20). It was a desire that welled up from the inside, that was jolted to life by the presence of Christ.
I'm so excited to see how Christ will change us this summer. He's going to wake up our hearts!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Wow. In the past week, God has blessed me with $735 towards NMB - bringing the grand total to $2,080! I'm so amazed by what He's done, and thankful for it.
I don't know about you, but I find myself putting limits around what God has already promised to do for me. He sends me out with a promise of his faithfulness, I hold steadfast to that for a good 5 minutes, and then I start re-defining what He promised to me because I'm afraid I'll get my hopes up. I was so excited to reach $1,000 in support, and I found myself thinking, "Don't expect any more beyond that." So what does God do? He brings it past $2,000. It's like I'm afraid to ask "too much" of Him, and every time he provides, I'm down here going, "really, God? Wow, I wasn't expecting that."
And what else would I be expecting? To be let down by a God who is big, mighty, fiercely loving, and the creator of the universe? Did I really think God would forget about me? "I will never leave you nor forsake you." -Joshua 1:5.
We've got a big God on our side, friends. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still." -Exodus 14:14.
I don't know about you, but I find myself putting limits around what God has already promised to do for me. He sends me out with a promise of his faithfulness, I hold steadfast to that for a good 5 minutes, and then I start re-defining what He promised to me because I'm afraid I'll get my hopes up. I was so excited to reach $1,000 in support, and I found myself thinking, "Don't expect any more beyond that." So what does God do? He brings it past $2,000. It's like I'm afraid to ask "too much" of Him, and every time he provides, I'm down here going, "really, God? Wow, I wasn't expecting that."
And what else would I be expecting? To be let down by a God who is big, mighty, fiercely loving, and the creator of the universe? Did I really think God would forget about me? "I will never leave you nor forsake you." -Joshua 1:5.
We've got a big God on our side, friends. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still." -Exodus 14:14.
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